Interview with the Vampires
by GillianDrake
Summary: Count Dracula, Vlad and Ingrid have agreed to an interview...Ok, so the interview questions have some from another fandom, but I saw it and couldn't resist. Please Read, Review and Enjoy


**Hi all, so I saw this interview (the questions, I mean) in another fandom and thought it'd be quite interesting to apply it, here. **

**Characters include: Count Dracula (C), Ingrid (I) and Vlad (V), plus a small cameo by Renfield...**

**This is just a bit of fun that was written when I really should have been planning a critical dialogue or something of the like. ****I hope I've kept them all in-character. **

**Please Read, Review, and Enjoy...oh, and Merry Christmas }-)**

**1) How Old Are You? **

C: *With a melodramatic swish of his cape* Nearly 600-years-old…

V & I: *Rolling eyes*

I: I'm 20, and _still _in school-how is that fair?

C: I refuse to have to look at your _girl_ face all day-

I: Go lie on a sun bed-

V: *Snaps* Alright, that's enough, the pair of you. You're doing my head in! *turns to me and sighs* I've got a couple of months until my eighteenth birthday.

C: But until then, I'm still your Regent and I demand that you show me some _respect,_ especially in front of *sneers in my direction* company.

**2)Height?**

C: 6'3''

I: No way are you that tall-I'd say 5'10'' and that's being generous-

C: *Splutters*

V: Dad's more than 5 inches taller than you and you're 5'5''

I: Shut up-

V: D'you mind if we move on…_quickly?_

C: Good idea, Vladdie.

**3)Have You Got Any Bad Habits?**

C: If you call revelling in the screams of peasants and bathing in the blood of nubile virgins-

I: Which you haven't done in…oooh…_ever_

V: Can we please answer one-_one_-question without it turning into an argument?

I: Alright, I think I can answer yours; *turns to me, gesturing to Vlad* he stinks of breather, especially since he's been swapping spit with Erin-

V: Ingrid-

C: Shut up, Ingrid-

*Exchanging of insults and general verbal fisticuffs*

**4)Are You a Virgin?**

C: *evil laugh* Most _definitely _not-

I: I'm not answering _that _one; I do have _some_ self respect. *sneers at the Count*

V: Um…that's a bit too personal-I'm gonna have to pass on that one…

**5)Who's your Mate/Spouse?**

I: Wouldn't _you _like to know *glares*

V: Ingrid, they _have _to ask these questions. If you can't do this civilly then get out-

C: She's never kept a civil tongue in her head, I highly doubt she's capable of something so…difficult.

I: I can be just as civil as anyone-

V: Then just answer the question.

I: I had a boyfriend called Will. But that was a long time ago…

V: And you, Dad *smirks*. Aren't you going out on a _date_ with Miss McCauley, later this evening?

C: *Bridles* Says 'The Chosen One' who's going on a picnic with the _slayer _girl-

V: Moving on…

**6)Have You Any Kids?**

V & I: *Duh stares*

C: Well, obviously I have two: there's Vlad, and I suppose Wolfie could count-

I: And me.

C: You don't count.

I: And Wolfie does? You're not even his dad-

C: No, but he's not a good-for-nothing, treacherous, abhorrent lump of a girl.

**7)What is Your Favourite Food?**

V: Burger and Chips-

I: How, in the name of all that is morbidly evil, did _you_ get to be the Grand High Vampire?

C: *Ignoring his children because he's already had this argument with Vlad, this morning) Slayer's blood-fresh as you can get it-

V: Not anymore, Dad-

C: *snaps* Oh, yes, you and that _infernal_ truce with the slayers-

V: Dad…

**8)What's Your Favourite Ice Cream Flavour?**

C: Cow's Heart-next!

**9)Have you ever killed anyone?  
><strong>  
>C &amp; I: *Duh stares*<p>

V: No one, yet.

C: Pity…

I: *Smirks*

**10)Do you hate anyone?**

C: No one whom I haven't already crushed…oh, except Ingrid, but she's hardly worth the bother-

I: Because I beat you four years ago.

C: That wasn't a fair fight-

I: And?

**11)Have you any secrets?  
><strong>  
>*Renfield walks through the door*-Oh you've got loads, haven't you, Master?<p>

C: Renfield, _get out!_

*Renfield whimpers and scurries out of the room*

**12)Do you love anyone?**

I: I'd say we're Vampires and too evil to love, but at least _two _of us here has succumbed to that pathetic emotion-

C: How's _Will_ today, hmm?

**13)TACOS?**

V, C & I *blank looks* (I don't know what that means, either, so...moving on...)

**14)Have you ever slept in All day?**

C & I: *Duh stares*

V: Not so much, I just kinda want to be normal

C & I: *Rolling eyes*

**15)What is your favourite show?**

C: I don't allow tele_vision _in my cas-er-school

I: I like watching old people on Countdown; it's almost as good as dressing up as the grim reaper and walking into an old-people's home-

V: When did you do that?

I: I didn't-Miss McCauley told me that she did when she was in college-

C: Did she indeed? *sits up, interested*

I: She'd make a half-decent vampire if she weren't so…

V: Yeah…ok…moving on…

**16)Favourite Movie?**

C & V: *Blank Stares*

I: Have you not seen the Twilight films, Dad? *smirks*

C: There's a _film_?

**17)What's your favourite band?**

C: I always did have a soft spot for Bach-

V: Mumford and Sons

I: Emilie Autumn…she's got the right idea about where us girls should be-

**18)Eye Colours?**

I: Really? _Really? _Do you not have _eyes?_

V: What did I say about being civil?-put 'blue' for all of us-

**19)Skin?**

V: Pale-we all are-next!

**20)Fat/Average/Slim?  
><strong>  
>V: *Before his father and sister can begin the rant* Pretty slim *gestures for the next question*<p>

**21)Which do you prefer, rain or sunshine?**

V: I like sunshine, but obviously can't be out in it…

I: Rain messes with your hair-better to be indoors on a sunny day I s'pose-

C: Rain does tend to affect one's flight pattern….*dubious look*

**22)Which do you prefer, the pool or the beach?  
><strong>

I: Pool-you can swim whenever you feel like it-

V: Yeah, same here…

C: *Blank look*

**23)Which do you prefer, Camping or staying at home?**

C: *twitches* I'm never going camping, not after last time.

V: You were being really childish…

C & V: *argument about grey-ham and father's day surprises ensues*

I: *studying her nails* Don't look at me; I don't do tents.

**24)Dog, Cat?**

C: They're equally amusing to torture

V: I'm not entirely sure that's what she meant, Dad…

**25)Do you believe in aliens?**

V: Well, _we _exist, so I don't see why not-

**26)Natural Born, or Clone?**

I: Cloning…hmm…

V: Don't go getting any ideas

I: *tries unconvincingly to look innocent* of course not…

C: *Blank look***  
><strong>  
><strong>27)How do you prefer to travel, by Car or Ship?<strong>

C: Cars…by the way, Ingrid, what happened to my _hearse?_ *snarls*

**28)Have you ever destroyed something out of Blind Rage?**

C & I: *Arguing about hearses and Demeter*

V: *Gestures to his family* It's sort of their thing…and I've come pretty close as well…

**29)Any Unusual Things about you?**

C & I: *Still arguing*

V: We're vampires…and I'm 'The Chosen One'. That's unusual, I s'pose

**30)How much food/drink do you need a day?**

V: Just as much as anybody else. Just…a bit more blood, too.

**31)Favourite Place?**

C & I: *Finally finish their argument after having been pried apart by Vlad*

C: Transylvania, the homeland…

V & I: Stokely *both look at each other and shrug*

**32) Any last words?**

I: See ya, suckers *gets up and flits away*

C: *hypnotic eyes* Are you sure you need to leave? Perhaps you'd like to stay for a _bite _to eat…

V: *Clicks his fingers* There'll be none of that. You'd better go, nice to meet you…bye. *Hauls protesting Count out of the room and waves goodbye*


End file.
